Is This REALLY the Day the Lord has Made?

Psalms 118:24 "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it" (NLT)

Today my questions and thoughts and doubts are speaking loudly in my head. Today the weather outside mimics my emotions and how my soul feels. Dreary, cloudy with only fleeting moments of the sun penetrating through the dreariness. Here I sit wondering "Is this really the day day the Lord has created and what is there to rejoice about?" With my heart dragging on the ground like Linus' blanket and the dam of my tears threatening to overtake my eyes I look around me trying to find refuge and the questions and doubts scream louder than ever to me.  -- "Look at yourself and all your failures; No one will ever love you and you will be alone for the rest of your life; You don't deserve happiness; Does God really care about me and my situations; Why do you even try; You know you can end this and no one will care about you or miss you;...." 

These voices come through so loud and ignoring them because next to impossible. What is there to rejoice about in today with thoughts and voices like these speaking so loudly to me? How do I shut them up? How do I kill these voices and never let them return again? The louder I scream, the louder and more insistent they become. The uglier the words become - whispering the lies that I eventually begin to surrender to, begin to identify with, begin to take on as my own. Where and how will this end? 

That still voice, that seems to have become like a mouse in the background of a full blown hard rock concert, continues to softly whisper, to beckon and draw me away from the crowd of insults, lies, doubts, fears and into loving arms of rest, peace, grace and most importantly forgiveness. That first step away, one would think, is the easiest to take, but in all reality is the most difficult one to take. That first step means leaving the identity that I have now conformed to and adapted as my own and being stripped of all that I know and all that has become as "me". Walk the plank, jump, and abandon all that I know, fall into the sea of grace and forgiveness and allow it to swallow me up. 

Vulnerability is one of the scariest things on this earth for me. Give me a charging bull or a snake - I will - nine times out of ten - take those over vulnerability. Vulnerability defined as "the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed either physically or emotionally". NO THANK YOU is my first response. I can take physical pain anytime of the day but emotional pain has me running a 40 in 4 seconds flat. 

What if, just maybe, that is the way to shut down all those voices telling me that I am worth nothing and unlovable? What if that sea of abandonment  and vulnerability is what God truly has for me? What if rejoicing in the days where the voices are so loud, is the only way to make it through the onslaught happening? 

Today here are a few things I can rejoice in: 

1. I am alive and healthy. 

2. I have family and friends who love me.

3. I have employment and the ability to earn a living.

4. I am able to worship the God who created me with no fear of death. 

And of course much, much more could be added to this list.

Today the verse "This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it" has taken on a whole new meaning to me. Yes, today the voices are louder than ever and I fear that they will overtake me, but I will REJOICE because I am victorious through Christ (1 Corinthians 15:57). Today I will REJOICE because I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14) and was made for a purpose that doesn't involve a disastrous life with no meaning (Jeremiah 29:11). Today I will REJOICE because Jesus died to save me for myself and all those voices that try endlessly to take me out of this journey called life (John 3:16, Romans 5:3-11). I can REJOICE in the face of fear and doubt knowing that my God will walk with me through all circumstances and will never leave my side (Hebrews 13:5). 

Today I choose to rejoice in the Lord. Today I will choose to be vulnerable. Today I will win the battle with the voices around me and not give into those lies and doubts. 

Tomorrow if the voices return, I will have to find the strength to rejoice and be victorious. Choose to rejoice in all circumstances.

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - Rejoice! Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is TRUE, and HONORABLE, and RIGHT, and PURE, and LOVELY, and ADMIRABLE. Think about things that are EXCELLENT and WORTHY of PRAISE. 

~Philippians 4:4,6-8